The Audacity of Senility: John McCain Wants to Speak at the Water Gate.

The Audacity of Senility
By Charles Nothammer
WASHINGTON --
John McCain  Wants to Speak at the Water Gate.

He figures it would be a nice backdrop. The supporting cast -- a doddering  audience and a few fainting nonagenarians --  will follow along to  bolster his Republican   credentials.

What McCain  does not seem to understand is that the Water  Gate is something you earn. It is sacred ground. How dare you John? Next you will want to wear Nancy Reagan's panties on your head. Shame on you, McCain!

Who is McCain  representing? And what exactly has he done in his lifetime to merit appropriating the Water  Gate as a campaign prop? What was his role in the dirty tricks campaign against McGovern, the swift-boating of Kerry, the creation of what George Bush 41 -- whose campaign ran the Willie Horton ad  -- called " a kinder gentler"  conservatism?

Does McCain not see the incongruity? It's as if  an NRA leader asked to use Columbine High School  as a venue for a campaign speech. (The Republicans  have now gently nudged McCain into looking at other venues.)

Americans are beginning to notice McCain's elevated opinion of himself.

There's nothing new about narcissism in politics. Every Stark Raving Lunatic  looks in the mirror and sees the next Alan Keyes. I myself think I am the next Walter Winchell. Lord knows I am racist enough. Nonetheless, has there ever been a presidential nominee with  wider gap between his estimation of himself and the sum total of his lifetime achievements?

I ask, has McCain ever been World Champion in Chess? Is he a Black Belt in Karate? Did he feed five thousand bankers  with five other Senators? (Oops..he did that one. Forgot about the Keating Five. Moving on.) Does he know roast a suckling calf in its own juices? ( I can do this one. The trick is to let the fat melt, not burn. Temperature control.) All of these are very essential to becoming a good President. Because I said so.

Oh how I miss the days when a genius like W. was held in esteem by 87% of the public! A man of such intelligence that he read "Your Pet Goat" slowly,  with fingers pointing at  each word, as New York burned? The man who was clearing brush in his ranch as New Orleans flooded? The best McCain can do is a measly speech at the Water Gate Hotel.

Almost make me want to vote for that other guy. what is his name? Irish sounding name. O'Bama? I wonder where he will be speaking this week.